My body may not be a wonderland, but it's not your fucking concern anyway

There were many things about pregnancy that I didn't even anticipate or think about, but the one thing that really chapped my constipated ass was the nonstop flow of comments about my body from EVERYONE. I was wholly unprepared for the barrage of verbal observations about how big I was (there's a human inside me, ok?) or how I was carrying (low is a boy, high is a girl, no low is a girl, high is a boy) or how my skin looked (I got mostly compliments on this, so I can't complain) and was I having twins (nope).

I mean, I expected a certain amount of commentary from family or friends, and 99% of the time the comments were harmless and didn't bother me. I work with adults with mental illness, and let me tell you, they don't hold anything back. (Not that having a mental illness automatically means you're intrusive and rude to pregnant women, but for me, this was the case a lot.) I had to explain to people more than once how impolite it is to make unsolicited comments about a pregnant woman to a pregnant woman. A few times I replied with exasperation "HAS NO ONE EVER SEEN A PREGNANT PERSON BEFORE?? THIS IS NOT A NEW THING!" I pretty much had to endure this bullshit from about halfway through my second trimester up until my last day before maternity leave. It was fucking awesome, let me tell you.

Even my co-workers made comments aloud about the size of my boobs or how I was carrying or asked me if I had the linea nigra; speaking of that, one day towards the end of my pregnancy I was so tired of the questions and comments, and when a coworker asked if I had linea nigra, I just lifted up my shirt to show her my belly so she could see for herself. I was done. 

I know most people meant well with their questions and comments. I definitely felt like since this pregnancy was successful, I should've been more than happy to endure the inquisitions and observations that seemed to occur almost constantly from everyone. And don't get me wrong, I was deeply appreciative of the people who simply asked me how I was doing and feeling and how my pregnancy was going. It was really just the scrutinizing commentary about my body from people I'm not close to at all that irritated the piss out of me. 

Take a tip from me: find something else to talk about with a pregnant woman besides her body, because that shit's just rude.