I'm not sure if we're into the throes of the "terrible twos" yet, but it has sure felt like it a handful of days recently. It seems like my kid's new favorite pastime is challenging rules and pushing boundaries. I realize this is a completely normal thing for toddlers to do as they explore and learn about the world around them, but does it have to be all the goddamn time?? *eyeroll*
Sometimes I find myself desperately wishing for my kiddo to stay little forever, as many moms do in those feverish moments of not wanting to get any closer to the day when that little jerk won't need his mother as much as he does right now. Having said that, I do long for the days when I don't have to change diapers anymore and when my kid doesn't need naps. That's important enough to say again: I can't wait for my kid to outgrow naps. Because then I can stop feeling like a failure when I don't plan right and he misses his nap or he only gets an abbreviated nap and melts down later. Maybe it's just me, but I find it very difficult at times to balance activities and nap time. It really reinforces just how critical it is for toddlers to stick to a schedule, especially mine. This is rarely a fun thing to try and achieve, especially on the weekends, but when we get off schedule, we basically fuck ourselves over in one way or another and end up paying dearly for that shiz. Now I truly understand why it was so important for my friends to cut social events short in order to take their kids home to nap while I rolled my eyes at their stringent schedule-keeping. I get it now, and I'm so sorry for ever questioning why it was so important for your kid to stick to a napping schedule. Please forgive my past, child-less ignorant foolishness.
I recently found myself marveling at (and also staring adoringly at, probably making the moms uncomfortable) some little boys in public spaces who were behaving like fucking saints. Standing still, quiet, well-behaved and not at all constrained (i.e. not strapped into a stroller or cart). I don't know if this is ok to admit or if I should feel bad, but my first thought was aw, what a cute kid and then my immediate second thought was I bet my kid wouldn't be as well-behaved as he is. I'm a cynic, ok? I often sell my kiddo short in the behavior department because I just assume he's gonna be an asshole most of the time since he's all of two years old. I don't give him enough credit sometimes, I know that. But I also know how I am as a parent, and I realize that I haven't yet reached a point where I've ceased to coddle my child. I haven't become so disenchanted with his shenanigans that I don't baby him anymore. I still baby him all the time, because he's my baby and because I'm a bleeding heart. So therefore, my kid will sometimes act like an asshole when he's on one or in a mood, and then I have to deal with the fallout which I basically deserve anyway.
On the other hand, I feel like I'm starting to see results of my efforts to be a decent parent and teach my kid the concept of gratitude and appreciation. More and more often, when I give my kid his cup or bring him a basketball or hand him something he wants, he will say thank you without prompts. I still have to remind him to say "please" most of the time, but baby steps. However, sometimes when he does something unkind and I instruct him to apologize to someone for what he did, he will hesitate and not respond. If I'm especially stern in my demand for him to apologize, it's even more difficult to get him to say he's sorry, which kind of makes sense to me and kind of doesn't at the same time. Maybe he's starting to learn how to process feelings of guilt, I'm not sure. But he's two years old, so I'm trying not to read into it too much.
I've been told by numerous moms that the phrase "terrible twos" is pretty much antiquated; the new reality is "terrible threes" or "threenager." Fuck. If this isn't the worst of what's to come, I'm gonna need more wine.
